Maya-led BSP patents currency-note Mala

In a major development to the Intellectual Property quotient of Indian political parties, the Bahujan Samaj Party has applied for and successfully received a patent for garlands made up of currency notes, Sedition and Perdition found out.
“All political parties,” explained an elated BSP leader to SedPerd after the news of the granting of the patent broke out, “have tried to create IP in India, but the BSP has emerged the leader even in this area. Our leadership is to be congratulated for her role in making this possible against great odds.”
Explaining about the patent, the BSP leader said, “Our patent is applicable in several areas like showing respect and giving gifts, raising funds for the party and its leadership, celebrating birthdays — a garland made up of currency notes — the Maya Mala as it has been trademarked as will set a new benchmark in Indian politics.”
Despite the various difficulties created for it by the opposition parties, the judiciary, income tax officials and the media, the party has constantly worked on innovations and improvements on its earliest model of accepting bundles of notes, later on stitched together in the form of a crude garland, a prototype of the current-day patented product.

“We faced all odds because we feel that we have greater expertise and passion in the area of honouring our leader with something concrete, such as currency notes. Today, the acceptance from the patent office is an acknowledgement of our groundbreaking intellectual efforts in this area,” the BSP leader told SedPerd.

With the granting of the patent, any political party or leader accepting a garland of currency notes has to pay a royalty of 10 per cent to the BSP, bes­ides having to allow the Bahujan leader wear it first.
Welcoming the success, Ms Mayawati, Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh and supreme leader of the BSP, told SedPerd, “This is the first of several patents and trademarks our party will get. The Maya Mala is both a product and process patent. For instance, we will also patent the way my party leaders fall on the ground and grovel in front of me; called the Maya Salute. This is just the beginning; you can expect several new innovative practices and firsts in Indian politics from us.”

Opposition parties condemned the granting of the patent, saying it was just a small modification and not a great development. “Neither from the perspective of accepting bribes, nor raising funds from partymen or rich benefactors does this model really help. We will find other ways rather than give any royalty to the BSP for this undeserving patent.”

Led by the Congress scion Rahul Gandhi, the Congress Party too shall step up its various efforts towards IP creation, having originally led the way by buying the rights of Jai Ho for its election campaign.
“For example, the entire process of Rahul baba’s visits and stay at Dalit villages is something we are very keen here in the UP Congress to patent. Similarly, the adoption of a constituency for a single family for decades is something we are keenly trying to document and stake a claim in its methodology,” a UP Congress leader confessed to SedPerd.

The BJP too is known to be working hard on various IP initiatives, including its unique model of being owned by a voluntary organisation, and may apply for patents for its mosque-demolishing techniques, its unique, fully-automated riot-starter and organising a systematic, low-cost pogrom, among others; unless the RSS vetoes the move.

Almost all other parties in India too are working hard on giving a befitting reply to the BSP for having taken such an age-old idea of bribery, showmanship and sycophancy and making an intellectual claim of it.

“The BSP patent is a big lie; we have given our leaders currency notes and garlands separately for ages. What is the big deal?” a regional party leader said.
Even before the opposition din over the Maya Mala patent had subsided, the BSP declared exclusively to Sedition and Perdition that they would now apply for a Self-Statue process, wherein, anyone seeking to use State funds to build one’s own statues and bankrupting the government to a point of being unable to send children schools, will have to get a authorised Maya Megalomania license from the Bahujan Samaj Party.