Piracy industry outperforms economy during rescission

Sedition and Perdition were following up on the fate of various industries during the course of the recession of the last two years and their chances and scope of recovery this year only to shockingly find out that the one industry that has not been given due credit despite having given great results has been the Piracy industry.

Going through the numbers of various industries, its key players and their performances, SedPerd discovered that Piracy was one industry that did not, contrary to the general economy, suffer much. In fact, its sales went up, revenues rocketed, and since taxes don’t apply to it in principle, had huge profits.

“Yes, we actually grew during recession,” piracy industry experts revealed to SedPerd with pride and satisfaction, even as the our core competitor sectors like media, entertainment, movies, music, books and art actually fell down, some still reeling from our far lower-costing products and services.”

“The movie industry, for instance, has been suffering from losses, be it Bollywood, television movies segment, even official DVD and VCD sales. In contrast, we made money even on those flop movies. That is because we are making better products, making them available in easier ways to consumers and at far lesser costs. Of course, the support of the government in exempting us from taxes and compliances makes us competitive, but the truth is we are more consumer-friendly.”

“When fans want to see a movie in a cheap DVD format on the day of the release, movie industry expected them to go to plush theaters, spend obscene amounts, and then wait for months for the home version. It is this service gap that we in the piracy business bridge,” they explained.

“The music industry, for instance, worldwide is going through its last rites. For instance, we estimate that official music industry might have a global revenue of somewhere between $100 to $250 dollars, for which they must have invested over $10 billion or so. In contrast, we have the least investment, around say, the same $100 to $250, but our revenues run into over a billion,” piracy industry officials told SedPerd.

“In the realm of arts, which is where our industry originated, fakes have always sold for more revenues than the originals for the sheer volume advantage we have. I mean, how many original van Goughs or Picasso, Ravi Vermas or MFs can there be… with us, you are talking numbers,” they said. “This year too, we have kept our edge.”

“Ha, books, the less said the better. It is absolutely our favourite segment… authors, editors, agents and publishers come in the way of readers getting their favourite novel or self-help at an affordable price. When it comes to choosing between a few hundreds of starving authors and a handful of bankrupt publishers versus several thousands of potential readers who have to go without a good read, our choice is very clear,” official representatives of piracy business houses revealed.

Condemning the society in general and media in particular, they said, “despite creating jobs, satisfying our consumers, generating revenue and making profits, we are not given any respect or honour. We don’t qualify for business awards. We are not, in popular perception, anything good? For how long should we serve society and be looked down upon despite the good results?”

“We expect subsidies, land, permanent IP and tax waivers, and yes, respect. Look at China? Do you or do you not want Indian piracy to grow as big as them?” they demanded angrily. “Don’t blame us if we fall behind in this segment.”

Speaking of the future of the industry, they said they were optimistic, despite hurdles and challenges, “Duplicate manufacturing in pharma, retail, FMCG, textiles, shoes, mineral water, soft drinks, mobile phones, fertilizers, seeds, computers and other mid-tech areas will be the high growth area, besides our traditional hold in arts and entertainment. The big growth areas for the future must also hopefully include counterfeit currency, fake tickets in cricket matches, besides reviving the now largely defunct stamp paper, revenues papers and other such important government documents.”
Explaining their corporate social responsibility, they told SedPerd, “let this country not forget that every time they buy a fake or a pirated product or service, they are not just contributing to our coffers… they are also enabling us to sponsor terrorism. Now, that is a thought, isn’t it.”

And added, “say, is your column popular enough to reach to readers at a cheaper cost, faster… no, only 12 people read it… and those are free copies you pay for. You get some business, and leave the rest in peace.”