PM annoyed by enthusiasm of young novices wanting to replace him

In response to his clarion declaration that he would step down from the post of Prime Minister during his first press conference to mark the completion of one year by UPA-2, Dr Manmohan Singh found scores of young novices from across the country who applied for his job, claiming to meet the requirements specified by him, only to be heartbroken and crestfallen, Sedition and Perdition found out.

"I am ready to step down for a young leadership," Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh had barely announced on TV, when 32-year-old Jeevan Reddy from Hyderabad rushed with his application to the PMO, SedPerd found out exclusively. "I am young, finished my college, six years in software but currently unemployed. I am ready to take over the affairs of the country,” he tweeted, only to be given a private reply from the PMO, "Sorry, we can’t invite you to be PM."
Deepak Kumar from Mumbai, who sent a courier with his full advertising agency portfolio and works, including an unfinished film script, wrote in his opening letter, "I am dedicated to serving the nation, can handle client accounts and wish to apply for your post if you are ready to quit," PMO sources told SedPerd. He was sent a telegram, "We wish you the very best with your film script. The post for the young leader has already been taken… unfortunately you applied late."

Sudip Das from Kolkata referred the PMO officials, through email, his blog, his poetry, snaps of him performing at a singing concert in the US, among others, besides his college certificates for debating and the youth leadership conclave and exchange programs he attended as qualifications. "You are amongst our best applicants, but we regret to say you are not who we have in mind."

Shweta from Delhi explained her NGO work, political science degree and progress in the preparation for Civils are the merits, "Besides, it will be handy being a girl. Of course, I am not an expert in economics, but given that I only have to maintain a double-digit inflation, surely, anyone could manage that."

Uttam Singh from Uttar Pradesh sent snaps of himself addressing farmers in his village, the agitation he led against ragging at college, besides his ability to stand up for a cause, taking ethical decisions based on convictions and the inspiration he drew from Mahatma Gandhi as pluses, only to be told by the PMO, "Apply for a post in Youth Congress. For this post, we are looking at someone whose name is Rahul."

When word spread that caste, religion, gender, family affiliation and money mattered, people from different parts of the country starting applying with clear indications in the bio-data of their caste, linkage to powerful names and the money they could spend; only to be told that the combination, or scale, was just not a prefect match.

"It is one thing for your father to be an MP, a liquor baron or a former minister, and quite another for you to be considered qualified for the young leadership the Prime Minister mentioned. It is weird if in a democracy, people can’t clearly understand what its leader says openly in the media. Frankly, we are tired of these applications," a PMO source told SedPerd.

"I am Rahul Sinha," applied a youngster from Bihar, a student leader, known for his local political clout, muscle, money, ancestry at district-level and ambition. The PMO brushed him aside, asking him to focus on state-level politics and try and get an MLA ticket in the elections slated for later his year. "We are not looking for just any Rahul... it is a specific Rahul... no, not Dravid, or Mahajan, or Bajaj either... a young Rahul with G as his family name. No, goddamn, not Rahul Gowda for godsake... don't you guys understand."

The PMO told SedPerd that all mobile phones would be switched off if these SMS applications did not stop, just as an "out-of-office" would be put for the emails. The caller-tunes on the cells of the PMO officials now say, "Thanks for your juvenile keen interest in wanting to be Prime Minister. We have now closed the offer as the job has been taken."

Sociologists and political thinkers explained that while Manmohan Singh, a loyal Congressman, thinks that subservience to the Gandhi family is a given, while every politician knows that hereditary clout matters the most, youngsters keen to play a role in their country’s affairs will exude such stupid optimism.
After browsing through thousands of applications, SedPerd pick the one they loved most… a colourful postcard from a small village in Chattisgarh, sent by a little girl, aged nine. "I want to be PM like you. If you make me PM, I will do a lot to help little girls like me… so they go to school and study and become like you. Plus, I will not take bribes, or give importance to caste or religion... only merit. Trust me, my teacher has written in my report that I am very hard working, honest and sincere."

"If this nine-year-old was actually made PM, maybe, you never know, she might just be able to do better than UPA-2," added experts. "Or maybe, we are just not ready for it."