Hasan Ali ROFL over Forbes’ Billionaire List Joke

In a major development that pretty much marks the response of the Indian rich to the recently announced list of billionaires by Forbes Magazines, Hasan Ali Khan, stud farm owner from Pune, who is not on the list, rolled on the floor laughing his head off, Sedition and Perdition, back to work after a long lay-off, found out.
“Imagine this list is supposed to be one of the most authentic source on the monies of the richest people in the world and their worth and value of their real assets,” said Hasan Ali to SedPerd, after he could control his wild laughing spree. “And only Indian name on the list, ha, ha, ha… never before knew these Forbes had a sense of humour.”
Soon Hasan Ali had tears in the eyes, when he confided to SedPerd, “If Balwa and Raja had not had their mobile phones switched off, I would have shared the joke with them. They would have had real fun laughing at this joke, trust me, they would laugh as much as me.”
“According to the Forbes list, which claims to rank assessment of wealth and assets of the world's billionaires – there are only 1,210 worth people $1bn. Ha, ha, ha… guess how many horses I sold to how many who have successfully never made it to the list,” Ali explained to SedPerd. “Why, from sheer memory, I can recall that many in Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Chennai and Bangalore alone, ha, ha, ha.”

“The biggest joke to me is that Carlos Slim Helú and family from Mexico, worth only $74.0 billion based on the market capitalization of Telmex, América Móvil and Bill Gates, worth $56.0 billion after all his charities, might put together not be worth as much as say a particular family in Chennai. No, no, I can’t tell you that the old patriarch always wears dark glasses and began his humble life scripting fantastic to believe film stories. Guess he still does,” confessed Hasan Ali.
“The third richest man is not Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway with a worth of $50.0 billion,” he began with a slight anger. “But, ha, leave it…. You could mine that much in Bellary in a decade, or loot a state in a single 5-year stint as a chief minister before you die. Ha, money, strange, isn’t it – how hard it is for some, and how easy it is for some others?”

“Leave politicians and businessmen, how much do you think all the 5,000 odd I-am-Sorry service bureaucrats put together are? Slim chance any gate can withstand that, eh?” he asked angrily. “Of course, all of us knew we won’t make it to Forbes list, but then cutting a neat 30 per cent of income taxes, to begin with – on an illegal earning in the first place, largely graft for quid quo pro or hawala – still can make you wonder why this list should be taken seriously,” he explained.

“Yes, Mukesh bhai is there to showcase the growing India at $27 billion, but Forbes insults India by making him the only Indian on the list. Why, I could make a list of at least 10 people who are richer than the richest 10 anyday. Stacking Rs 70,00,000 crore in Switzerland banks is not good enough for Forbes to re-consider their method of evaluating monies, eh?”

“I am not a mini-billionaire with only a few thousand crores like Koda or Kalmadi to look at this list in awe. It is hilarious to me and everyone in my inner friends circle would agree,” he clarified.

Suddenly remembering he had business to attend, Hasan Ali asked, “pray, what do you want – a horse, or some neat cash to disappear? An article… what article, fucking pathetic tax-paying, honest, poor scumbag… buzz off.”